Today was the end of a long term sub job that I was doing. Going into this position, I was terrified to say the least. It was 8th grade English. The English part didn't scare me, but boy did the middle school part terrify me. Much like the first time I subbed in a high school classroom. Well, wouldn't you know it, it wasn't nearly as terrifying as I had imagined. Sure, I had some issues along the way with a few students. Some behavior problems and such. I'm not sure if you all realize this, but middle schoolers are not easy. Teenagers are not easy. Hormones. Drama. Lots of drama. But ya know what? I fell in love with teaching middle schoolers. I wouldn't say I love it more than high school, but I definitely broadened my horizons.
During my time teaching, I would play KLove while students worked. Almost everyday. Now, this was a public school and it's probably against the rules to play Christian music in the classroom. (Which is ridiculous) Regardless, I did it. Please don't think that we just listened to music all day long. I played the music after I taught the skill and they were doing independent work or working on writing essays. (They loved writing essays...let me tell ya haha) The awesome thing is that no one complained about the music. No one's mom called me yelling at me for playing such music. Nothing happened. I'm not sure if listening to this music glorifying God changed their lives, but I can tell you that it affected me. It uplifted me. Every now and then a song would come on and I would think....Wow, I really needed to hear that. I'm pretty sure God knew I needed to hear certain songs at certain times. "He is always on time." I've heard that expression all my life, but lately it is becoming real to me. God's timing is perfect. It really is. So many times I've tried to force things to happen in my life. Career. Relationships. I now look back on some of my choices and decisions and thank God that my life didn't go the way I planned. If I would have waited on God, I would have avoided so much heartache and disappointment. Hey everybody!! TRUST GOD'S TIMING! There is that trust God thing again....can't seem to get past that. Now, is God's timing frustrating sometimes? Do I wonder what on earth He is doing? Do I ask God questions like why me? When God? Of course I do. Let's just be real guys. Haven't we all asked such questions? I don't think it's wrong to ask those questions? I think it's okay to have conversations about what is on our hearts with God. I think it's okay to cry out to God about anything. For instance....I'm thirty. I'm single. That's extremely frustrating and frankly I cannot understand the reasoning behind it when the desires of my heart are to have a family. In my mind, I'm thinking...I'm not getting any younger. That biological clock is ticking. Then there are the reminders everywhere that you are alone. I do mean everywhere. And lately babies have been at every stinking turn in my life. Seriously. Everyone is having a baby. I'm chasing a rabbit here. Let me return to my point. I get frustrated with God's timing sometimes. I do. However, I also know that God's timing is perfect. However badly I want a husband, I'm not going to force it. I'm not going to settle for anything less than God's best for me.I am patiently waiting on a spiritual leader. Someone who loves God more than anyone or anything. (I may be waiting a while lol) I trust that He has someone for me. I trust that I am that someone for someone. I TRUST GOD. The older I get, the more I am understanding God's plan and His purpose for my life. I have faith that God will make a way even when I see no way. Serious rabbit chasing happening here.
So today was my last day of teaching 8th grade. You would have thought that I was dying or something the way my students were acting. I had this one girl, I kid you not, tell me about 20 times today that she was going to miss me and that she was going to cry and begging me not to leave. Do you know how good that makes a teacher feel? She also said that I was her favorite teacher EVER. And I'm just a sub. haha. I didn't realize the impact I had on these kids until today. Today was one of those days that teachers live for. I made a difference in their lives in some way the three months I was with them. I thank God for the opportunity. I'm sure I learned a lot more than I taught them. Today was a high unlike any a drug could give me haha (Not that I would know ;) You never know who is looking up to you. Don't disappoint. (I've been on the disappointed end of that spectrum) You never know how you are impacting the lives of others. It's not just teachers. Everyone can be a positive influence on someone else. I hope more than anything that these kids saw Jesus in me. That is more important than anything else I could ever teach them. Be a light this week. Remember that eyes are always watching you. Love Loud. Pray Hard. Be the light. Blogging is kind of fun.
" I have set you as a light to the Gentiles, That you should be for salvation to the ends of the earth." Acts 13:47
Great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks Kasia! I can't figure out how to follow other people's blogs??? I follow yours but I can't remember how I did it?
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